Hello friends!! Between the Love Your Life In 30 Days project and establishing a yoga/workout routine, this month went by in a flash! I was so focused on sticking to my schedule that, looking back, I realize how much I kicked ass all month and I’m actually really proud of myself. In reflection of these past few weeks, I noticed that on the few times I fell short on time or skipped a workout, I didn’t beat myself up about it. I just accepted that it wasn’t going to happen and moved on. That’s new.
Conversations With Myself
I have been making a huge effort to avoid getting caught up in ridiculous “what if?” conversations with myself and and replacing mental chaos with peace. It sounds like a bunch of hippie bullshit, and it totally is, but it’s the truth and it’s working, albeit slowly. I often wonder why it’s so hard to achieve a peaceful state of mind but upon further inspection, I can’t actually remember when I didn’t have some sort of chaos running through my mind. My earliest memory, although generally happy, had drama lurking around every nook and cranny. I’m just relieved that I’m finally understanding that if I want piece of mind, I’m going to have to work for it and they don’t call it “work” because it’s easy. It’s fucking hard to let your past go and correct years of mental conditioning.
A Big Difference
One thing that really made a difference this past month was reminding myself that if something doesn’t serve me emotionally, spiritually or physically, I need to walk away from it. That means not worrying about money, not pushing my body to workout if I’m too sore or in pain, not working on art if I can’t get into it, not being social if I don’t have the energy and so on… That concept is so damn refreshing. By no means have I mastered it, but I’m getting better at listening to myself and what I need.
Someone once told me that one of the most important things about yoga is making self-adjustments and I remember feeling something “click” in my head. Not only does that help tremendously with my practice, but it applies DIRECTLY to all aspects of life. If something doesn’t feel good, wiggle around a bit until you feel more comfortable. Things are going to happen; good, bad and indifferent, and it’s up to me to adjust my mindset to handle each new situation. With that in mind, all those years of my Grandma telling me to “wear comfortable shoes” totally makes sense now.
I’m a huge believer that what you think, you see and right now my “what-if’s” are transitioning from fear and worry to a deep belief that the universe is on my side and that everything is going to work out beautifully. Instead of stressing out about money, I’m getting excited about starting a new job that doesn’t involve greasy kitchens and slip-resistant shoes. Instead of dragging-ass when it comes to working out, I’m finding fun ways to keep myself active by learning new stuff (hello, handstands). Instead of feeling unsatisfied with an art project I’m working on, I’m simply painting over it entirely until I see something I like. If it’s not working, self-adjust until it feels right…easy, peasy.
If perception is reality, then I choose to see magic.