Hello friends! As I’m writing this, it’s Monday morning at 10AM which means I posted this blog a day late. So, in lieu of my lateness, this post is going to be about routines, commitments and schedules and how sometimes you just have to look at your unfinished To-Do list and hit the “fuck it” button.
Let me first state one thing: as much as I TRY to be an easy going person, I thrive in a structured environment. I love lists and plans and a consistent schedule and being prepared for my day, I can’t help it. Without these things, as I have come to learn this past year, I flounder…miserably. To me, there is nothing more satisfying than taking a brightly colored marker and crossing something off one of my lists. On the flip side, it makes me totally anxious when I miss a few things and realize how much catching up I will have to do to make up for it. Then I just guilt-trip myself for the rest of the day and waste time stressing about WHY I fell off schedule instead of staying focused and actually getting shit done. Why do we get like this with ourselves? This is something I am constantly trying to work on; accepting the situation and going with the flow regardless of what my To-Do list says.
Currently: I am a day late on my blog, I haven’t worked on art in 3 days, I ate like shit yesterday (who can resist queso and peanut butter cookies?!) and I missed two days of yoga. Are any of these things life threatening slip-ups? No, but I’ll be damned if I don’t work myself up about it anyway. This is when I have to remind myself that shit happens and it’s totally fine to pick back up where I left off. Just because I miss a few days of my routine doesn’t mean that the past 5 weeks of success are cancelled out. This is when I have to hit that golden “fuck-it” button and go with the flow. In my last blog post, I talked a little bit about the concept that if something doesn’t serve me, then I need to let it go. Stressing out over an unfinished to-do list definitely falls under that idea.
One thing I have really been struggling with is art inspiration and motivation. Over the past few months, I have been trying to create new art and get it finished and photographed for my website and for the fucking life of me, I just wasn’t feeling outrageously creative. I would do small projects here and there, but for the most part, I just wasn’t connecting with anything I was creating. For a while, I fell into this weird “forced-motivation” mode and scolded myself for being lazy. On Jan 1st, I started an art journaling project. I quickly realized that just because I wasn’t into painting at the moment, didn’t mean that I wasn’t inspired. I was just creating the wrong KIND of art. So, I put my paint brush down and got lost in my art journal. Finally what I had been waiting for: a whole new wave of artistic motivation and inspiration. Problem solved.
It’s all good
Sometimes I need a reminder that I just need to quit doing what ISN’T working and find something different that WILL work. It all boils down to 3 steps: Accept, make adjustments and move on. The rest will fall into place as you go. I missed a day of yoga: that’s fine, wake up earlier tomorrow. I ate cheese and sugar and bread all day: cool, but find a new healthy recipe for the next day. I didn’t post my blog on schedule: that’s okay, but do it first thing in the morning. I haven’t painted in over a month: no worries, start a new art project and use a completely different medium. Even though it has taken me forever to start understanding life, I’m so glad it’s all finally starting to make sense.
I hope everyone has a fantastic and productive week and remember: if you don’t get everything done or you end up eating pizza for dinner two night in a row, fuck it.